Needled by Neediness

Sheryl Crow's song "Soak Up The Sun" includes these lines - "It's not having what you want, it's wanting what you've got."

Rock on.

So many of us want more...and to some extent, that's healthy. We didn't succeed as a species by eating our fill of apples then parking our fat ass under the shade of its tree until winter came along and froze off our toes - we kicked it into gear building farms, raising livestock, and knitting socks to help sustain us through the hard times.

The fact is, a certain "drive for more" is common sense.

And some of it's a damned disease.

Moderation is, once again, the key here. If you have a perfectly decent Toyota Camry that effectively carts your family around safely and reasonably, do you REALLY need to upgrade to a Cadillac? "The Cadillac has a TV screen to keep my kids entertained and seats that massage my back," you say. Well, okay. But that TV screen and massage mean you're going to absorb a new car payment...is it worth it? (If it is, have at it.)

Is it worth it? - Do I need it, or do I just want it really bad? Answer this, and make wiser choices.

A couple years ago, my friend had surgery and about a week later, she was going stir-crazy to "get out of the house". We went browsing at a local store, because it was easier than trying to hoof it through the woods during a Rocky Mountain February, one week after invasive surgery. I'm self-employed by choice, uninsured by circumstances, and my "discretionary income" is slim. So at the time of this jaunt, I was in the middle of paying off a substantial medical bill and had simply stopped shopping for anything that, without which, I'd be homeless or hungry. No new clothes, home decor amenities, baubles of any kind...or even (gasp) books. I was simply driven to pay off my medical bills before getting hit with more. It went like this - pay off bills, buy food, and don't forget to fill up the Subaru's gas tank. That was it for me (and largely still is).

Then came along this day that my friend and I went to the store.

Remember, I hadn't been "shopping" in well over a year. But within the first half hour, I "needed" the slip on peace sign shoes I found on aisle five, and a pancake cutter from the wall display...it shapes your morning flapjacks into Colt .45s. I also "had to have" the flower earrings, rainbow striped beach towel, and a new release of a popular book. I snapped up the items of my fancy, lugged them around until my arm muscles shuddered under the weight of all this cool stuff, then I approached the check stand and stood in line doing the math. About 43.00, before tax.

Eeeeeeeeeerch!

I made a decision, turned to my friend and motioned for us to step out of line. "I should weed through this stuff and decide what I really need," I told her.

"That would probably be a good idea," my reasonable friend nodded, her empty arms folded. 

We stepped over to a quiet corner with a small, empty table and I made two piles. Then, the selection process began.

The popular book - shit, who am I kidding? I never get to reading popular books until they're already made into movies anyway...I'll wait until it's available at the used book store. Toss in the "I don't REALLY need this" pile. Next...that beach towel - I live at 5200 feet above sea level. Where's the beach? Into the pile it goes. The flower earrings - cute as hell and not expensive, but let's face it - I only have one article of clothing that goes with neon purple AND green. Tossed in the pile. The slip ons? Wow...that's a tough one. I love slip ons and I really love peace signs. But these are 15.00 and I don't actually NEED shoes right now. Tossed. The .45. Okay...I know somebody for whom this would be a perfect gift, and the damned thing is on sale for 50% off, making it under 4.00. It's a keeper.

So I bought the utterly ridiculous pancake cutter shaped like a gun and put everything else back. The only regret I had - those shoes. They tugged at me...but like I said, I didn't really need them. So I sucked-it-up and off we sauntered to the next store. That's when it dawned on me.

"I was perfectly happy with the stuff in my life before I came out shopping, and now I feel like I'm lacking some very important things. Interesting."

For the remainder of the day, my friend and I focused on sharing stories and a double order of garlic french fries at a local eatery. We laughed at passersby, bitched about work, talked about her kid - it was a good day, especially once I realized, "I am a citizen, not a consumer."

I went home and ranted on FB about how damned close I came to spending money frivolously. Many friends complimented me on my reserve, a few empathized with my self-horror at the monster I saw approaching the check out counter. One delightful friend actually stopped by that store then dropped off the peace sign slip on shoes three days later (I wore those shoes to death...they were a ripped, threadbare embarrassment by the time I finally tossed them away, thus proving their ultimate worth to me in the long run).

There's nothing new here. Just a reminder that we need some things, want others, and most of all - are best served when we're aware of the difference so we might hopefully make better choices.


Peace!